A Life Remembered: Mobility advocate committed to public service, fighting stereotypes

ST. PETER — A young grandson learned how to practice patience by tagging alongside Steve Grams’ wheelchair during shopping excursions to the mall. Grams’ widow, Barb, said the child would look for ways to entertain himself during the impromptu and often long conversations between strangers and his grandpa.

“Steve was loving and kind. He would stop and talk to everyone; he’d also take time to listen to people,” Barb said.

A former St. Peter city councilman, Steve Grams, died March 6 at his home. He was 73.

City Administrator Todd Prafke remembers first meeting Grams when he was a candidate for the city office.

“Steve stood out, not because he had a disability, but because he asked lots of questions. He wanted to understand how everything (in city government) works,” Prafke said.

“He became a very, very committed and thoughtful member of the council. And he really could speak out about mobility issues, but he was not tied to one issue.”

During his two terms on the council between 2013 and 2021, Grams provided input on the design of the town’s new fire station and Minnesota Square Park’s new pavilion. Prafke said in the past, people who use wheelchairs had views from below the old pavilion’s stage and entertainers with physical disabilities had to be carried to the microphone.

St. Peter’s accessibility improvement grant program for commercial properties can be traced, in part, to Grams’ efforts to address the town’s need for ramps and wheelchair lifts. He also discussed with local business people the profit loss they face if the designs of their stores’ entryways and doors form barriers to potential shoppers with physical disabilities.

The grant program is designed to finance the renovation or alteration of commercial buildings to enhance the accessibility of the structures to those with mobility impairments.

Eileen Holz, of St. Peter, who contracted polio when she was young, uses a wheelchair when she shops downtown.

“I recently stopped by a business and thanked the owners for being a new grant recipient,” Holz said.

She formed a friendship with the Gramses soon after they moved to the St. Peter. The town’s limited housing for people with physical disabilities was a frequent topic of their conversations.

“Eileen was becoming frustrated with trying to make changes,” Barb said, referring to Holz’s solo efforts for accessible apartments.

“Steve was wonderful to talk to and to have to run a bunch of ideas off of,” Holz said. “He could keep his cool and he knew how to calm me down.”

Grams was born in St. Cloud and grew up in a large family. In 1967, when he was 15, his spinal cord was injured in a high school wrestling accident.

“After spending over seven months away from home, in the hospital, for numerous tests with endless unknown results, Steve defined himself as a person with the disability of a quadriplegic (being paralyzed from the shoulders down). Overcoming multiple obstacles, this life-threating accident paved the future of a person we have all gotten to know, love and adore. Most of those who traveled this journey along his side are aware that this journey started like a bumpy dirt road that led not to a smooth journey but most definitely paved his fulfilling life,” Elissa Grams wrote in an essay about her father.

His public service included a statewide advocacy position with the Minnesota State Disabilities Board.

Family and his faith also were important to Grams. He volunteered for his two grandsons’ robotics club and was a member of Minnesota Baha’i’s summer school committee.

Grams sang with the St. Peter Choir for several years. “He had deep, strong voice,” Elissa said.

She and her late brother were adopted by Steve and Barb. Amiel Grams was 22 years old when he died in 2000 as the result of injuries from a vehicle crash involving a drunken driver.

Elissa said her father was fond of children, including kids who were Barb’s home day care charges. He’d entertain youngsters by dressing up like a clown on Halloween.

“His humor and personality would hit you head on, allow you to ease, lift the weight of questioning, and see past the facts that he was bound to a wheelchair. It warmed a hesitant heart, released laughter before stigma, and created a platform for curiosity and a safe place to inquire. Instantly, his wheelchair disappeared, reminding one of the fact that one never focuses on one’s kneecaps when interacting,” Elissa wrote about her father.

Southwest State University was perhaps where Grams honed his humor. Joking became his tool for coping with problems and fighting stereotyping. Steve and Barb met when they were students at SSU in the mid-1970s. At the time, the college in Marshall was Minnesota’s only campus that was designed to be wheelchair accessible. Steve earned a bachelor’s degree in mass communications and business management.

Barb studied dance.

“I first saw him from a distance and I felt drawn to him,” she said.

Steve was on the college’s radio station and he wooed Barb by playing recordings of songs dedicated to her. The couple had recently celebrated 50 years of marriage.

Barb said her husband’s dream to be a professional radio announcer failed. Instead, his career path was in business management.

He accepted positions at the Department of Corrections Thistledew Camp at Togo. He later managed the business office at the Willmar Regional Treatment Center. When that facility closed in 2006, he transferred to the St. Peter State Hospital.

“He worked with a lot of people there and he often attended job interviews for staff,” Barb said.